Half Fan of Malcolm Gladwell

(Picture: I was looking for some interesting pictures or better still a video of Malcolm Gladwell giving a speech, but then I settled for my interpretation of his writing style. This is how all his books are, according to me, and capture the reason why I am a half fan of this guy in a nut shell)

I love Gladwell's books. They are very thought provoking and fast paced. He picks extremely interesting themes and laces his narrative with a lot of information about research done in that field. His books got me hopelessly hooked to Sociology and made me look at things from a completely different perspective. I was chatting with a resident Sociologist at Google recently and I couldn't help thinking how I would present his research if I were Gladwell.

The USP of Gladwell is the combination of story telling skills and the research he presents. The only issue is that his style of reiteration is so irritating that by the time I get to the half way point, I can't read his books anymore. The picture above explains why.

Though his arguments are quite convincing, I can never completely believe that he is not mixing up causation and correlation. The distrust is more because of his background -- he is a journalist.

I prefer reading his articles in the New Yorker and on his blog (though he has not updated his blog in some time now) to reading his entire book. However, his books fall into the absolutely must read category and I recommend Outliers as the first book that should be read followed by others in any order.

BTW, this post is dedicated to Abhijit Gogoi :)

Impulsive Adventure -- Chinese

Sometime ago, I had this sudden desire to learn Chinese after a friend at work mentioned it casually. I signed up for an online course to check out how tough it would be to learn a foreign language (I used Rosetta Stone and I highly recommend it, especially for beginners). It was TOUGH to say the least, but I started enjoying it as the lessons progressed. The language is so different and the intonations so intricate that I felt completely exhausted after I finished the first unit. I gave up. But then, when I logged in again after a week, I was surprised that I did retain the basics and the second unit seemed a little easy and the language a teeny weeny bit familiar.

Today, I completed 2 levels of the speaking and listening course. At this point, I have a choice of going to level 3 or practicing what I learnt until now. I choose to practice but the problem is, practice with who? Without active conversation in Chinese, I will forget everything I learnt in one month flat.

There is also another question to answer. Why should I learn Chinese, and even if I do, why should I remember it anyway? Especially when I don't even have anyone I can practice a few lines with? Well, the answer is: just for fun. So I am now going to go hunting for someone who speaks Chinese Mandarin and can help me practice my newly acquired language skills a bit. If you know me personally, and if for some reason, I do not know that you can speak Chinese, can you please shoot me an email.

Look what I found!!!

I lost all of Raunak's pictures sometime ago but I stumbled upon a collage I made as an 'introduction' when he joined Nursery. This captures almost all the best pictures and it tells a story of his life when he was 3. It feels like finding Kohinoor while searching for stapler pins (I actually found this while searching for stapler pins).

Grandma Helps Raunak with his Home Work

Click on the picture for a larger version

Friday Night Out

(Picture: Raunak and me (with my new hairstyle))

One of Ranjit's friend's family fell prey to Chickungunya. Every single one of them except for the youngest son and his 9 months pregnant wife (thank God for that!). I offered to stay with them for the night in the hospital, and it is scary to sit and watch everyone go through so much of pain. This is a small nursing home and the entire ward is filled with the members of the big joint family. I am sitting right in the middle, updating my blog and searching for "is chickungunya contagious?" Have a Mills and Boon in my bag to read later. In the 10 seconds I got to pick up some book for the night, I ensured that I picked up a one with a medical theme to fit the setting I am in.

But seriously, I hope all of them recover quickly, and do protect yourself and your loved ones from mosquitoes.

PS: Just got a call from home that Raunak is down with fever. It is going to be one hell of a weekend! And of all the weekends that passed by, this happens to be one rare one when I didn't want to do anything at all, just wanted some quiet time.

All wishes are granted...some are granted in reverse.

My encounter with the Sheedi community

(Picture: not mine. I looked up a lot of very interesting pictures of Sheedis but I kept coming back to this one. There is something very beautiful about this little girl's eyes)

A month or two ago, I attended a wedding of one of Ranjit's close friends. It was a typical Telangana wedding, very colorful, lots of folk music and the very peppy teen maar drum beats. I am a big fan of folk music of various places and have a special love for Telangana folk, so I stayed on until the very end when the real music and dance starts. By the middle of the night all men were sufficiently drunk to dance the whole night around the drummers and I pulled my chair closer to the group to watch the fun. The drummers started with all the regular stuff and when the thing reached a crescendo, they switched to a very typical African drum beat. That surprised me, and I was a little puzzled when I looked at the faces of the musicans (these are not the posh artists who play in clubs. They are utterly poor and play music at weddings and funerals for a living). These people had distinct African features.

Later when I spoke to Ranjit, he told me that they are African-Indians called Sheedis or Choush whose ancestors were soldiers and harem guards of Nizam, and came to India through slave trade. He said a few families who are the descendants of these people live in King Koti, Pahadi Shariff and Chandrayanagutta areas and have retained some of their African rituals and especially music. I have been in Hyderabad all my life and this was the first time I was hearing about these people.

I was very intrigued and spent the next few days pouring over articles on Internet to learn more about them and realized a possible reason why I never heard of them before. These people are most backward economically, suffered racial discrimination for generations together because of their color and looks and are so ignored that very little is written about them. The only way I could now know more about them was to get in touch with the drummers I saw at the wedding. At this point, a fantastic coincidence happened. I finished the book I was reading and randomly picked up the next one. This happened to be a book called 'Empires of Indus' that a friend of mine gave me. To my surprise and absolute delight, most of the book is about Sheedis!!!!! Is this a miracle or what! Fairly comprehensive and very well written book that covered the history and current status of many Sheedis in Sindh province of Pakistan.

I also spoke about this to my maid who happens to be a muslim (most of the Sheedis are muslims) and she told me she knows a Sheedi family and can take me to one of their weddings later in the month if I was interested in seeing the rituals they follow!!! I gave my maid a big hug!! If Raunak's dictation and weekly test schedule permits, I am off to Bidar to witness a Sheedi wedding in a few days!

Here is a good post that basically summarizes in 2-3 paras everything that most of the online articles say (which is not much). This site has a pretty good description of the book 'Empires of the Indus'. I am not writing a review for this one. Great book but you need some introduction to history of ancient India and current Pakistan to enjoy it fully.

Honeymoon! After 9 years!

(Picture: Raunak called me when Ranjit and I were in Goa and said something so innocent that I had to note it down to draw a cartoon later. Click on the picture to see the bigger version so you can read the text)

Ranjit and I went to Goa last week. Our first holiday together, just me and him, after Raunak was born . The last one was to Vizag when I was 6 months pregnant. We did not want to go on a vacation together until he was old enough to know that he was being left with his grand parents, and was fine with his mummy and daddy going off on a holiday without him. He is old enough now and was totally cool about us taking off for a few days. He was feeling quite proud to be the in-charge of taking care of his grand mother, the house and the car and he did a fabulous job!

We are probably the last people on the planet to visit Goa, so skipping the nice things about the place to avoid preaching to the pope situation. After going there, we realized that this was our real honeymoon! We did not go for one when we newly got married. Most of our trips have been with the family and the trips we took together were with a purpose (surprising some cousin of Ranjit's in Bilaspur, a quick trip to show me the room he stayed at when he was working in Kurnool many many years ago, or just to eat at some small motel that served great food like our trip to Kakinada to eat at this place called Meesala Seenu Hotel, and I am glad we took these trips. All of them were totally worth it). This was a true vacation where the only mandate was to laze around on the beach.

I am posting the pictures here again (I already posted them on Facebook). I continue to get confused about where to put up the pictures. I am duplicating the storage, but Facebook is to show my friends where I have been to and my blog is more for leaving a record of a part of my life that I want to remember later. So here go the Goa snaps again. I need to figure out a better way to do this from next time onwards.

Mumbai Adventures

(Picture: Chappal shopping in Mumbai)

Ranjit and I got into this ritual of shopping in a different city for Raunak's birthday for the past 2 years. The excuse is Raunak's birthday and the hidden agenda is shopping for me. It all started one fine evening with us hunting for a faded blue denim dungarees for his birthday last year. After 3 hours of visiting all the regular shops, we sat down at Mehfil for dinner -- disappointed, exhausted, and hungry. We go there frequently. Great food and live ghazals! During our conversation, I told Ranjit that Hyderabad is not a great place for shopping and I wish we had more variety like Bangalore and other metros. Ranjit said "lets go". "Where?", I asked him. "Bangalore" he said, and off we went to Yatri Nivas to catch a bus to Bangalore. Called up home on our way and told my mother-in-law that we would be back the day after morning and we left. Of all our impulsive travel plans stories, this is my favorite.

So this year, it was Mumbai. It was a short weekend trip and I probably went at the wrong time to all wrong places in the city. The point was to experience shopping that is unique to the place we visit. We took a lot of time to figure out the places and specific shops to go to, and as a result did a lot of walking in the sweltering heat. Could not carry on for long, and our adventure on the roads short to head back to the hotel and watch the India Pakistan Champion's trophy match. India lost the match! What a wasted trip. I don't believe that I did such a bad job with a city like Mumbai! The only thing that went well was my shoe shopping. Bought 7 pairs and this time, I am not going to keep the shoes in the rack for ages until I don't even remember I bought them. My goal is to wear all of them by the end of this month. Yeah we got stuff for Raunak too, but nothing unique. Definitely not like how it was in Bangalore.

Have you heard of Iacocca?

(Picture: Not mine. Silver 45th Edition Ford Mustang and Lee Iacocca)

I did not either until I read his autobiography and I am glad I read the book. Lee Iacocca is the father of 'Mustang' and put a dying Chrysler, one of the 3 automobile giants of America back into business after being fired from Ford as a President where he worked for 32 years.

This is the most delightful autobiography I have read in a while. It is filled with smart witticisms and clever sarcasm that makes the narrative race ahead with lightning speed. There are two main reasons why the book blew me away. One, the guy's personality. He is one of America's biggest corporate heros and most well known faces. He knows he made history, he is arrogant, boastful (well for the kind of things he achieved, he has all the right to be so), honest, humble, witty, and vengeful all rolled into one. I know someone with similar qualities and that made the book even more interesting to me.

Two, this is a completely one sided book. A printed version of a very lively bitching session. Iacocca tells his side of story and cares a damn about the other side. There are people he hates and is very angry with. He very clearly explains why he is angry and at times, if he thinks Henry Ford II is a jerk, he calls him one. Not just Henry Ford, many prominent CEOs, Senators, Presidents of America, no one is spared. I Googled every single one of them just to see if any one is alive and if they gave public responses to what he said about them in his book. His opinions are quite strong and his language is caustic.

There are 4 parts to the book. In the first part he talks about his very hard working parents and the strong bond he shares with his family. Very touching, and something most of us will be able to relate to. The second part is lets-rip-up-the-bastard (Henry Ford) kind of a section. And what a way of ripping up a person's reputation -- slowly, deliberately and completely. The third is the story of how he turned a gigantic company that was heading towards a certain bankruptcy into a giant again. The forth, can be ignored. He talks about his opinions about various things like seat belts and some more stuff that I did not find very interesting to read.

The book also introduced me to the fascinating world of cars and the auto industry. I never thought I would use the word 'fascinating' and cars in the same sentence before I read the book. Full 5 stars, and a must read if you are dreaming to make it big in the corporate world.

A HUGE thanks to my team for gifting this book to me. You could not have picked a better one guys. This is perfect!

Happy Birthday Raunak

(Picture: Raunak, first birthday)

6 years old already! You have achieved a milestone that is very dear to me -- reading. Delightfully, you have taken to reading both Hindi and English story books, and I hope the interest you are showing now stays with you.

You have started getting into fights, both beating and getting beaten up equally frequently. According to grandma, you are always right and according to me, you are always wrong and between both of us, you get a balanced message.

You are also getting increasingly aware of the multi-religious, multi-cultural, multi-lingual family that we are and are getting to understand the sensitive spots when such a mix lives under one roof. We are all just "Indians" according to you. That is good. It's an inclusive approach with a strong sense of identity and I like it.

You sing (pretty well), you draw, you share your toys, you cheat when you play board games, you hide your test papers when you score single digit marks...basically, you are a happy child and are enjoying your childhood well.

One of your front teeth is wobbling...a clear sign that you are out of the baby phase...It feels good to watch you grow from a toddler to a young boy.

The Book that Expelled Jaswant Singh from BJP

(Picture: Jaswant Singh with his controversial book -- Jinnah, India-Partition Independence)

I had to read this book! Not because it became controversial, but more because of the interesting dynamics it presented. 1) This is a book on Jinnah by one of the top BJP leaders 2) It's written by a politician so everyone thinks 'what is the hidden agenda?. I do too. 3) Pro-Hindu organizations/parties, have an interesting opinion on Gandhi and Jinnah, especially on the partition topic. Their take on this is that though Gandhiji is a great freedom fighter, he did not do enough to stop India from being partitioned. His reaction and his appeals during post-partition riots are not fondly remembered.

I was left unimpressed with the book overall. Not because it did not live up to the hype but in general, it was an average history text book. The only time when the book solely focuses of Jinnah is when the author explores Jinnah's equation with Gandhi -- sometimes basing it on historic documents and sometimes simply on his opinion. The author tries to be politically correct by subtly taking Jinnah's side at times and Gandhi's side during the others. Though Jinnah and Gandhi had strangely similar backgrounds, Gandhi is projected as a leader who got everything easy, coming from a wealthy influential family, and having the natural support of the Hindu community and Jinnah as the one with many disadvantages, but the chapter is based on simple obvious observations rather than real research. The entire thing lacked depth.

The chapters dealing with the partition are filled with lines and lines on Gandhi's persistence of stopping the partition which I was a little surprised to read (read my 1st para). I do not debate Gandhiji's attempts to avoid the partition but the write up was not balanced. Jinnah was shown as just a very stubborn politician in the entire section.

The only strong opinions that Jaswant showed was that for Mountbatten (and strong is a mild word going by what he had to say about him). Jaswant did sprinkle some unnecessary strong words for the muslim community but they are with no justification and he carefully reserved his comments when he was referring to the past, a good 100 years ago.

I did not get a glimpse of Jinnah as a person in the book. I did not get to understand his side of story. All I got was a chronological list of events of India's independence struggle that can be read from any Social Studies text book. The only difference being Jaswant Singh's English is quite tough to read. He used the old school English which made it difficult for me to enjoy reading the very thick book.

The Weekend That Was -- A Video Post

Fish!

(Picture: Clicked by Gene with her amazing camera that she refuses to sell to me. Thanks Gen! You gave me all the attention I needed with all the pictures I made you click at gun point :P )

Went for a fish pedicure with bunch of friends from work and what an experience it was. I was one of the first to try and the sight was quite disgusting as you can make out form the picture. Everyone kept asking me how it felt and I kept saying "gross". Well, that pretty much describes the entire experience quite accurately. This is surely the most disgustingly amazing experience I have ever had and such harmless disgustingly amazing experience needs to be repeated so I will be doing it again.

Though the 15 mins was thick, pure, delicious, undiluted torture, my feet became so soft and shiny and supple that it was totally worth it. Next time I fight with my mom, I will take her for a nice fish pedicure as my way of apologizing :P

Cartoon -- Creationism Vs Evolution

(Cartoon is at the end of this post. Post gives context)

This stumped moment happened yesterday morning and I just HAD to make a cartoon. Some context first. Ranjit and I believe in ensuring that Raunak gets a strong religious education. Since the majority of people at home are Christians, Raunak is being brought up as a Christian. My mother-in-law is quite religious, and Raunak is growing up in her strict religious care. Obviously, he has been taught creationism (the belief that the origin and nature of life should be explained by reference to God).

Since he is growing up, I thought it was time to introduce him to some fun Science. I got him a picture encyclopedia and started with the most challenging chapter -- Evolution (a scientific theory of the origin of species of plants and animals...no reference of God here). I had to teach him about evolution some day and I felt the sooner, the better. The tricky part is, I don't really want to interfere with his religious education and that is tough. So, I decided I will talk to him about evolution just like I talk to him about how an electric bulb works. Simple Science.

I had a great conversation with him, but was very curious about how he took the contradiction between the creationism and evolution. He showed no signs of confusion, and I was happy. Then something very amusing happened...he stumped me!! Check out the cartoon.

Click on the image to enlarge the picture

Dear Anonymous,

Disclaimer: A slightly uncomfortable and personal post. This post is for the person who left a comment for me last night. I would have preferred to write a personal note if there was an email id with the note. If you are not that person, ignore this post. If you are then my email id is justkalpana at gmail.

Read the comment in the morning today, and I kind of know who you are. People you mentioned in both the statements are extremely dear to me, and the ones you are obviously not very fond of are people I am naturally programmed to defend. Though you commented anonymously, I know that you are not a random stranger, so I can't ignore you or your comment. Otherwise I would not have bothered to write this post. So, I decided to respond to it. I will not publish your comment though, because I will not publish anything bitter about others. Sorry, but this is my blog, and my rules apply.

So...I actually have an opinion about the first thing you said, and I can assure you that the second statement is false. False, because I chose to stay in the ground floor with nanamma and tata until their last days. Life was great until tata was alive but nanamma got really lonely. I ensured she was well taken care of, but she stopped caring for everything including food, and just could not cope with the long lonely days that stretched in front of her. Don't know if it makes you feel better, but they had a comfortable last few years, and I stood there to ensure they did. So, anything you have to say about that, good or bad, directly applies to me. Write to me if you disagree and I will talk further. This is not the right place to discuss this issue.

The first statement, I can totally see why it can be perceived that way (and hey, I am not talking about the neighbors. I am responding directly to you, since you obviously believe it. Since when have we started caring about what neighbors think of us? All of us, more so, you and me, always lived the way we wanted to live...always. So take the neighbors out of this). I would have actually debated it slightly and somewhat agreeing with what you said, but if you put it the way you put it, my natural defensive instincts would kick in, and I would tear you apart into bits. I really will.

So that's about what I think about what you said, but I am not really interested in all of this. What I am interested in is, understanding why are you and I talking about this? We have been fed right from our childhood to hate each other's families, but I thought we came out of it clean, successfully dodging all of it and having neutral feelings for each other, if not overwhelming affection. We have definitely been good friends during the handful of opportunities life gave us to interact with each other, and wish well for each other. Kill the hatred. Let it die with our previous generation. We may agree with them, we may disagree with them, but if 'you' and 'I' discuss it, we invariably take it forward and another generation gets corrupted. Even if the first statement affected you directly (the second statement can't unless you are my late grandfather or grandmother posting that comment from heaven), I sympathize with you. I would, however, not elaborate because of the way you said it. Like I said, I love both parties dearly, and you insulted both in that one line.

If that comment was meant to affect me, say it directly and say whatever you want to say. Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions, if that is yours, I respect it irrespective of whether I agree with it or not.

Come on! We should choose the battles we want to fight and neither you nor me should choose to fight this. This is not about us, it is about a generation before us. They will not change, let them at least not change us. The feeling are real, they are scarily strong, and they will destroy whatever little is left. Not worth it!! Grandpa would have definitely not wanted to me destroy it, and I will not. Sending love your way like he would have wanted me to.

Understandig Scientology

I fell ill recently and stayed at home one whole week. To kill time, I thought I'd pick up a book and since I knew I had so much of time on my hand, I thought I'd read something that needs focus and concentration. I chose L. Ron Hubbard's 'Dianetics', the Scientology bible. Without planning that way, I also attended Landmark Forum during the next weekend and it's worth mentioning about both together. Read on.

It took me the entire week to complete Dianetics and I was exhausted reading it. The language is heavy and the author repeatedly tries to change the meanings of the words as we know them. I almost felt like I came out of the experience with a new jargon that I probably will use sub-consciously if not consciously.

I have always been very interested in learning about religions, and Scientology is very different from any religion I studied. The book is powerful in the sense that it can influence a person to start thinking and living differently. For example, there is a huge emphasis on negative thoughts from the past that repeatedly influence how we react to our present situations. The philosophy (or technology as Ron likes to refer to it) teaches how to quell these negative thoughts and make them stop adversely influencing the present. The book is quite interesting and a must read if you are open to read about different interpretations of life, soul, morals, right/wrong and Science. You will be able to enjoy the book if you are open to at least listening to the another perspective than the one that you have been taught (by your religion or Science).

Coincidentally, I attended the Landmark Forum during the next weekend, something I have been looking forward to attending for a while now. I enrolled for the 3 1/2 day course but chose to leave the course after the first day. I heard mixed reviews from people who attended the entire course, but my one day experience left me wondering why the Landmark teachings and Scientology principles seemed to be connected in some way. I connected both of them when the Forum leader mentioned about the 'technolgy' of dealing with breakdowns. I could not put a finger on it, but both seemed to be quite similar in many ways. I did further reading and now have a better understanding of why I felt that way.

About the course itself, it has a good positive message of being in control and taking charge but they also have a VERY hard, on your face sales pitch that is so strongly intertwined in their lectures that I found it difficult to sit through the entire day. The methodology is large group workshop, and the way they sell their courses is through strong networking and word of mouth. Both menthods are extremely powerful and I was impressed with how brilliantly they used both. As far as the selling itself is concerned, they are a for-profit company and they are selling like any other company would sell their product. Doesn't MacDonald's sell the slice of cheese to you when you ask for a burger?

I cannot comment on whether the course is good or not as I did not experience majority of it. It definitely did not work for me personally. It now falls under "I know that I don't know about what it could have done to me". I choose leaving it that way.

God and His Surveillance Cameras

This happened some six months ago when I told Raunak not to eat too much of the chocolate cake (he already had 4 pieces). He did not listen to me, sneaked into the kitchen and ate another piece. Apart from some cake missing from the bowl, he had chocolate smeared all over his tee. When I asked him if he ate the chocolate cake in spite of asking him not to, he said no he did not. I told him he is lying. 5 seconds of looking straight into his eyes made him confess, and then he threw this stumped moment at me.

Click on the image to enlarge

I am posting a comic strip of mine after a long time. The creative side of me does not surface often and when it does, I am usually not prepared. So, when I get in the mood, I just sit and make as many cartoons as possible. The mood usually lasts 5-6 hours and would take up an entire night. Backbreaking work, but worth it because I would draw 6-7 of them in one go. I don't post all of them at once though. I spread it out. I like having variety in my posts. Now, my hard disk crashed recently and along with my most precious pictures I lost close to 20 cartoons and I don't remember the punch lines of most of them. Today, I felt like drawing one. My laptop is new and of a different model (smaller and sleeker but when it comes to drawing, very uncomfortable). I am used to using the touch pad when I draw, but now I have to use the tiny red button in the middle of the keyboard. It is not only is back breaking, but also arm breaking, neck breaking and wrist breaking now. I tried to add some color this time, and am happy with the end result.

Whats going on?

(Picture: Not mine)

Kasab's case is getting more and more ridiculous by the day. This guy was caught red handed, millions of us saw him on the footage that he accepts is his, and the case still drags on. I am not a big advocate of capital punishment but there are exceptions when it is needed.

I feel harsh punishment is needed for brutal crimes and an entire lifetime in prison is a lot more harsh than a quick death from capital punishment (apart from the fact the murdering a murderer is not something we should be proud of). But when it comes to cases where someone has become a threat to the national security, my moral code changes. We are a civilized nation and a criminal, no matter how barbaric he is, should get a fair trial...but a 'quick' fair trial. At least in cases like these. After witnessing the minute by minute footage of Mumbai attacks, which I will never forget in my life, it pains to know that one of the people who caused it is still alive and leading quite a decent life albeit in a prison.

How difficult is it to prove that he committed 'a' murder? If that is not enough to hang him, how difficult is it to prove that he committed 'a few' murders? Done. He murdered people and is a terrorist by his own confession, has given a bunch of other details of who masterminded the attack, how they were trained, and how it was executed. Do a rapid verification of the facts, and go hang him. Let the families who lost their loved ones have a quick closure to this.

We are currently a nation with the right attitude, but with a wrong bureaucratic lethargic legal system. Punish Kasab, and get back to diplomatic dialog for cooperation from Pakistan. We need to close the past fast and secure our future for long term peace, and not spend years in the court room letting the guy change statement after statement.

A Sad Story

(Picture: Not mine)

There was a boy, about 24 years old, only child. He went to a city along with his mother for a day to interview for a job. He was seeing a girl for a couple of years now. Initially they had to bear with the society frowning at them for being in love, later when they persuaded their parents that what they really wanted was to marry after a couple of years with everyone's consent, the hearts softened. It was agreed that the girl and the boy can get married once they complete their studies and find some decent jobs and will not meet each other until then.

The boy hoped that he would clear the interview, and then approach the parents and fix the date for the wedding. The girl prayed hard from the moment the boy took the train to the city two days ago.

After the interview, the boy headed to his hotel room, spoke to his mother about how well it went, took a tablet for the fever he developed since the afternoon, and went to sleep...never to wake up again.

....We woke up in the morning with the mother letting us know about the terrible incident, and I had the horrible job of breaking the news to the girl, while Ranjit had to head to the boy's house to break the news to his father. The mother was more concerned about how the girl would take this news than anything else. She repeatedly asked to ensure that someone takes care of her and she should head to the boy's house so she can mourn the death of her would-have-been husband. I was moved with this as, usually the girl is considered a source of embarrassment since the whole issue of love has been hushed up, and was kept a secret. But the feeling lasted exactly half-an-hour as I was asked to break another news to her. The relatives and well wishers discussed this and decided that the girl cannot come to the boy's house and cannot attend the funeral. I refused to do it. Someone else did, and the girl refused to listen.

She is now at the boy's place, waiting for the body to arrive...all her dreams shattered and the stares that scream "you are not wanted here" giving her company.

Life is so unfair at times.

Foolish Me

(Picture: One of my favorite pictures with Raunak which I uploaded on my old site)

My hard disk crashed last week. Complete no-hope-left-to-recover-any-data kind of a crash. I had all the pictures of Raunak I clicked since he was born and I did not take a backup...ever. Initially I panicked, then felt so depressed that I could not breathe, then so sad that I cried every night for a few days.

But then, I slowly realized that we can survive without things that are important and precious to us. The loss seems so unfair. It feels like a part of me has been torn away, but then what is lost is lost. No matter how much you want it back, it won't come back. I just accepted the fact...in more contexts than one.